Stu Posts an MSN Conversation...

...In which I share that the key to gaining weight is eating greasy meats, write the plot to every sports movie ever as a run-on sentance, and explain that cancer is a sadder disease than AIDS.

(enjoy)

Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
then you should eat
Yumi says:
ooohh
Yumi says:
I am eating
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and not something healthy either
Yumi says:
isn't that rediculous though? x.x
Yumi says:
*sobs*
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
like a big fucking pizza
Yumi says:
I'm eating hot chocolate and banana bread?
Yumi says:
LOL
Yumi says:
grooosss
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
loaded with cheeze and greasy meats
Yumi says:
I'm really not a very big fan of pizza..
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
carb load
Yumi says:
okaaaayyy...
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
like a football guy in the movies trying to add pounds cause coach told him to and if he doesn't then he will be off the team and if he isn't on the team not only will his dad disown him because his dad is a terrible parent and trying to recapture his lost glory days by living vicariously through his son but also Shirley his cheerleader girlfriend will leave him because she only date guys who have
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
letter jackets and are on whatever team she is currently cheering for despite the fact that he gave her a promise ring and she totally said they were going steady so he really has to gain those ten pounds by the big game even though he really wants to go to the big party and Mr. Kingston the renegade teacher who cares is trying to get him involved in something more academic and it is turning out
Yumi says:
o___________________o
Yumi says:
*blink blink*
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
that he is actually a talented writer and he won an award for that essay he submitted to the big magazine in town.
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
BAM
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
RUN ON SENTENCES!!!
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
EVERY SPORTS MOVIE EVER
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
I'm spent
Yumi says:
LMAO
Yumi says:
It's sooooooooooo true
Yumi says:
I don't know, I sort of just want to like... be the teachers pet and go for the writing
Yumi says:
who cares about Shirley, she's a dumb ho
Yumi says:
and my dad is a flake but my mom stil loves me?
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
your mum died in the first act because without that happening there wouldn't be enough dramatic tension and she was sick with cancer and she used to be a writer but gave up her dreams because she married her highschool sweetheart who just so happens to be your dad only the marriage ended up being loveless and she was taking a shine to the renegade teacher because she was given the courage to do so
Yumi says:
LMAO
Yumi says:
oh my god
Yumi says:
can we write this movie
Yumi says:
but can it be about a sport like badmitton or something?
Yumi says:
table tennis?
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
because she was dying only she realized that if she ever followed through with her desires then she would be hurting you so she kept them to herself and even on her deathbed said nothing
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
YES
Yumi says:
LOL
Yumi says:
we need to think of an even more rediculous sport though
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
feel free to come over immediately and we will write it
Yumi says:
LMAO
Yumi says:
I have to put on clothes and go to the library
Yumi says:
to pick up books on business administration
Yumi says:
(exciting!)
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
well anytime after immediately you can also feel free to come over and we will write it
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
I will think of more cliches
Yumi says:
his best friend has to steal his girl
Yumi says:
and then he has to become buddies with the high school dork who was his best friend in elementary school but who chose not to be popular
Yumi says:
possibly a girl, so that there can be a love thing
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and he realizes that his best friends aren't really his best friends they only like him because he is popular and he is only popular because they like him
Yumi says:
LOL
Yumi says:
totally
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and he needs a grizzled old mentor played by sean connery
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
who is an author or a painter or something like that
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
maybe an author and a painter
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and a photographer
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and other artistic things
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
but everyone thinks he is just the curmudgeony old crazy guy
Yumi says:
totally, he's the neighbor
Yumi says:
and he does things like prune his roses naked
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
he is the neighbor only his house is somehow on a hill
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and there are trees
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and rose bushes
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
to further seclude him
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and he shouts at people
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
he could also optionally be played by Samuel L. Jackson in age make-up
Yumi says:
LMAO
Yumi says:
omg can he please
Yumi says:
can he mutter something about mother fucking snakes in his mother fucking bushes?
Yumi says:
*dies*
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
oooooohooohohoh
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
it could be both Sam Jackson and Sean Connery as a lovable pair of curmudgeons who are lifetime friends
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
heterosexual lifemates if you will
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
who once led a life of adventure
Yumi says:
whose wives died together in a terrible car crash
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
yes
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
and of cancer
Yumi says:
so they relied on eachother for strength
Yumi says:
LMFAO
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
at the same time
Yumi says:
wait wait
Yumi says:
can we be contemprary
Yumi says:
and have them die of AIDS?
Yumi says:
or maybe the athletes mom can die of aids
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
no cancer is sadder
Yumi says:
is it?
Yumi says:
I hate cancer, it's so lame
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
there can be a kid at school who has AIDS though
Yumi says:
LOL
Yumi says:
oooh this is absurd
Of Course Space Is Hot! Where Do You Think We Get Pineapples? says:
who he befriends
Yumi says:
I need to run and catch a bus so that I can get to the library
Yumi says:
but you keep thinking, and I'll talk to you later

*NOTE* My MSN name comes from a wonderful BBC TV show called Black Books. Go and watch it straight away. It is truly fantastic *END NOTE*

I Have Invented a New Kind of Blogging

The Update Blog.

This blog post has been created for the sole purpose of informing you that I am updating.

I have updated. This is the update.

Just in case you were not aware of what this was. It is an update.

The next update will update you on the status of the next update.

UPDATE!

I Update Because I Can, Not Because I Want To

I am Bored. For those keeping score that is bored with a capital "B". So bored that I am using sayings that my parents use in day to day conversation and I told myself I would never say. Only I didn't ever actually promise myself but writing out both of these explainations has helped to alleviate my boredom for at least a minute or so. But enough rambling, at least for now there is important news to deliver to the masses. Or at least Cody. Here it is:

I have updated!

Nothing of substance mind you but that is only because I am contractually obligated to not talk about my job. At least not somewhere that the lawyers can see me. ANYWAYS, I really really really want this on a shirt:


I call it Elitist Appliances. So If any of you are feeling particularly charitable (I am unemployed again if that makes you feel more inclined to buy me things) then you can buy this for me. Also I don't care if you don't get it because Amanda understands so I know I'm not crazy. Or we both are. Either way I've managed to avoid boredom for 7 minutes while I made this post.

AHAHAHHAHA.*

*I am going stir crazy

Goodbye

Some Arts VI: Bride of the Arts

Got back on the Masked Avenger-verse horse a little bit this week doing what I enjoy doing most: Creating superheroes based on my friends. The results, based on everyones favorite roommates and my BFFs, can be found below.

Why Amanda is The Journalist is pretty self explanatory, I think. The design is one of the few "classic" cape and mask characters I have done. The only other really being The Masked Avenger himself.
As always the inspiration for these characters comes from life even if it is simply an inside joke. This one sort-of falls into the same catagory of Garage-Man (ambiguous jester hat-based powers that have nothing to do with a garage), Iankylosaurus (very few people understand Ian's love of armored dinosaurs), and Muffin-Gal (Katie + Never-ending crumbly muffin = had to be there). If you truly want to understand get Amanda to sing you a song called "My Roommate Has A Bionic Armpit". The design came from a noted lack of the stereotypical multinational spy organization (S.H.E.I.L.D. in Marvel and those guys Guardian and the telepath dude with Horns work for in DC). More on this organization to come when I post the picture I am currently working on of it's leader.

35mmm: The Extra M is for Magic

Recently I came into the possession of my Dad's Canon 35mm still camera. The following photos are what resulted.
I christened the camera with the stereotypical "taking picture in the mirror" picture. Actually it was some other picture and this one was near the end of the roll so I could get it developed, but for the purposes of this photoblog I put it at the beginning despite my strict chronological rule of photoblogging.
BAM! I graduated film school, hooray for me I'm officially unemployed. If you know anyone who wants to give someone a few hundred thousand dollars to make a movie please let me know. Anywho this is Julia (one of my classmates) at the graduation.
Julia and Chad (aka Neutron of the Equipment Room). It looks like it is late at night but it is really only like 4pm. Fear the magic of Film! (The extra capitalization means its serious) This is also the last of the grad day pictures because the place where we held our after party was too dark for photos and also because I didn't bring the camera on the account that I was drinking and that it was the only thing my dad bought with his inheritance. If you want to know more about the graduation check out the next post for it will be filled with highlights (in point form!).
After graduation some of us went on to make a short moviefilm about a musician and the two ladies in his life (his girlfriend and his fantasy girl). Pictured here is the crew minus myself we have Eric (DOP and Camera A operator), Dillon (Director, Writer, Editor, etc.), Byron (Art, Scripty, and fellow Scrubs fanatic), Phil (Grip), Ryan (Camera B Operator), Wes (1st AD and pictured later), and one of the talking prop...I mean actors. Also not pictured is Chris getting behind the scenes footage of me getting behind the scenes pictures.
This is my favorite photo from the production stills I took and not just because it is the one with the best focus. Rather, it showcases one of the things I love about 35mm film: The depth of field control. It is such an amazing tool for getting one's audience to focus there attention where you want it. Also, I have no joke here.
Hey it is everybody's favorite cute but kind of ditzy (Devin I am talking "Deers have teeth?" ditzy here") actress who played a pornstar in a VFS film. She is all kinds of a nice person though and I really like this picture despite the fact that her face is out of focus and the back of her fur hood is crisp as fresh lettuce (iceberg not romaine). The rooftop patio we were on provides a great background...
...Just like the checkerboard interior of the elevator we shot in does (see what I did there? That was a segway). This is the lead actor Jesse (who's name I couldn't remember until I had finished writing this sentence which I then had to go back and re-write to correct my memory error). Jesse plays Otis the semi-famous musician. In this photo he is bringing back groceries to woo his girlfriend with S'mores and Screwdrivers. MMmm that's good lovin'.

And just in case everyone was having too much fun with this photoblog here is the 1st Assistant Director, Wes, in his best AD pose to remind us all that we probably have more important work to be doing and that we are in fact 5 away (5 what? Away from what? Who knows? But it's close...I think!).

-Stu

PS Holding a boom pole on your shoulders for over 30 minutes straight is extremely bad for your back and will result in pain. I learned this for free and now so did you. No charge. Thank me later

Welcome To Rocktoberfest!

Hans (obviously German) and I (though Irish, I am also Austrian which is sort of like German and I'm pretty sure the Austrian guy in my class said something about celebrating Octoberfest) are celebrating our ancestors love of drinking with a Welcome To Rocktoberfest! Party on Saturday, September 30th. Everyone who knows me is welcome to attend. The theme is german and rock so feel free to dress up German-Style (but any nazis will not be allowed in because I have morals) or Rock Star-Style (If you're Emo that's okay but don't pretend like you dressed up) or both (aka The Hoff).

See you there!

-EDIT- Poster is courtesy of Cam and his Magical Offensularious Poster-Making Skills -EDIT-

Bam! I'm Back On The Internets!

AND I BRING WITH ME SOME ARTS!

These are some fake travel stickers that adorned a piece of set dressing that I am actually pretty sure you can't even see in focus in any of the shots in a short film called Curious Feast. The movie is about a grad student who is writing a dissertation about suburban cannibals and these were for his Zany Professors office.

Anyone who is offended by this one is a jackass. There are tribes in Kenya, deal with it!

...and there are drugs in Columbia. I know because I watched Scarface once.
And monkeys really are the only selling feature of the Congo. They probably have tribes too but google doesn't have any pictures of them readily available so I went with monkeys (I know the gorilla is an ape but "monkeys" is a funnier word, so again I will have to ask you all to DEAL WITH IT!).

T-Shirt Design: Political Incorrectness Ahoy!

Inspired by the popular Christian, primetime drama 7th Heaven and made for my sister who coined the phrase "Church Is For Sluts" in response to the behaviour of the characters on the show.

Ode to the Internets: 4th Verse: Dance Number

The Winter Of Dance: http://www.current.tv/studio/media/7090419

Everyone should check out this 10 minute doc I found online. It was shot entirely on a digital still camera in film clip mode and is quite excellent.

Musings About Irrelevant Things #4

Why is it that only mammal flesh is named independantly of the animal? I mean, when you eat a trout or a chicken you are eating trout or chicken, respectively, but when you eat a cow you are required to refer to it as beef (or veal if you subscribe to the "younger = tastier" philosophy).

There are exceptions like buffalo or bear or even moose, but for the most part you have to think of a different name for what you are eating, or three different names in the case of pig (god help you if you call your ham "pork").

Some Arts V: Arts In Space

Here is a little glance at the upcoming page of The Masked Avenger. This hopefully signals my triumphant almost return to comic-ry. Ian take notice, I am only a few pages away from being finished issue 6. And I think I will make it this time.

To make up for the wait colour and crisp word bubbles may be involved (the word bubbles for sure the colour, well I've gotten lazy before let's just say it could happen again). The following page is in a similar state of completion only it has not been scanned.

At any rate it is guarenteed to be more enjoyable than X3 which as you may have guessed I did not enjoy. But if you did enjoy it then just think of how much more you will enjoy these coming pages of Masked Avenger.

Cheers

Ode to the Internets: Chorus: I'm Sorry

I am sorry for the mean things I have said to you Internets. I only said them because I love you. I should have known that eventually you would surprise me with something like this:

http://hatesong.com/2006/05/12/guest-strip-by-clay-hampton/

The Helicopter is bleeding. Bleeding.

Thank you.

Ode to the Internets: 3rd Verse: Disappointment

Oh Internets it has been a while since you have provided me with something so profoundly excellent I could not help but smile. The trailers on Apple.com have been lacking (with the notable exception of the 2nd Superman Returns trailer) and blogs have fallen into a lul or dissapeared entirely (et tu Amanda?).

However, it is not simply a lack of material, no, Askaninja.com proved that to be incorrect. I am angry with you internets because you have betrayed me. I'm looking at you MySpace. We always had a tenuous relationship, it would be fair to say that I alternated between finding you mildly amusing and merely tolerating you. Then you went and tried to steal my intellectual property. Shame on you.

Now you may have changed your policies MySpace but I am still dissapointed. No amount of midget ninjas can change that.

Good Day!

Digicine X: The Concept Art

Digicine X was deemed too expensive for production in the midterm drama round of shooting. Seeing as how I was told pretty much once a day by my instructor's that this would happen I was not shocked and awed. I will now however proceed to continue to leak some of the work I did on the film. The full script is not going up because of paranoia that blogspot will pull a myspace...anywho without further ado here are the character concept designs that I did for my art direction proposal:

In the script it is supposed to be an oversized men's shirt but I guess my comic book style (ie scantily clad women with insanely unrealistic proportions) got the better of me.

May has been in the script since long before it was even science fiction. Basically I expected Katie H. to play her because a)she's blonde b)she actually has a sword c)she has a black belt in Tai Kwan Do (which to the unknowing eye I could easily pretend was Kung-Fu).

Hotaru was the first design I did. He had no lines and was pretty much inteded to be played by Ian because basically Ian looks exactly like I imagined this Japanese-named white guy, and also because Ian has previously demanded that I put him in a movie that I make.

Mr. Wong is not necessarily my favorite character (that honour goes to Eddie, the only character I did not do a design for), however, he is definately my favorite design. I like the mix of modern and traditional in his design. I also like the tatoos which was something I continued over from Hotaru.

And here is the protagonist. Basically I wanted a guy that looked like he was decked out for war but rode a basic bike. he also needed to look like he fit right into the poor, illegal-lofting, drug-using, street-fighting world. I am definately happy with the way he turned out and the fanny pack amuses me to no end.

These pieces also represent my return to the world of colouring (hold the cheers I'll probably still back out when it comes to Masked Avenger comics).

Stuart: 1 Riptides: 0

Ah the ocean...

Beautiful, serene, wet.

I have wanted to try my hand at surfing for a while now as I have needed something to fill the void of snowboarding during the summer and my longboard is still broken. My friend Katie happens to love surfing and also happened to be going to Tofino this weekend. Tofino, for those of you not in the know, is BC's own little surf town (featured in an MTV movie no less). Needless to say I decided to tag along and try my hand at the only style of boarding I have not yet experienced. I traded my frozen oceans for the real deal.

The trip to Tofino is a pretty beautiful one. It oddly reminds me of the area around Fernie (Elk Valley) only with about a foot of moss covering everything. Despite that, however, I only took one picture out the window trying to perfect my Spielberg-esque "rear-view mirror" shot. You can see my hand so I guess I failed.

So we arrived and went to get some dinner at a restaurant on the waterfront. I saw some Killer Whales, or Orca for you Politically Correct Cetacean Crusaders out there. I did not have my camera on me so no pictures of the creatures for you.

The next morning we went and picked up some gear for me and made our way out to Cox Bay, the only place that looked like it had managable waves as opposed to waves that would crush and fling me about like a ragdoll. 45 minutes of pleasent attempted surfing followed. I managed to get up onto one foot and a knee which I hear is pretty good for a first attempt. My second attempt never came.

We were too far from the middle of the bay and thusly we were in the out flow zone i.e. The currents were flowing in at the middle of the bay and out at the sides of the bay. Caught in the back current Katie and I quickly found ourselves a little less than a half mile from the shore.

We paddled to little avail, essentially staying in the same spot and tiring ourselves out. A kayaker noticed our plight and towed us in abit but he too soon realized that the current was too strong for him to pull the both of us in to shore. He scouted out the rock wall of the side of the bay and found a place for us to climb out of the water. We waited for the water to recede and then scrambled up onto the rocks before the next wave had a chance to throws us against them.

We were safe but still a long way from the shore, so we started to hike. We stuck close to the water where barnacles lent some grip and the danger of ravines was more easily avoided. It was slow going but thankfully the Coast Guard showed up. We jumped back in with our boards and paddled over to their boat. Somewhere in the activity I sprained my right wrist (which happens to be the one that I damaged during the summer and which has not healed to full capacity).

They got Katie in fairly close to shore and back in the middle of the bay and she paddled back in to the beach so she could get the car. A park ranger surfed out a bit to help her along the way. I opted out of the paddling seeing as how I could barely move my wrist and was treated to a sweet, high-speed boat ride over some huge swells.

Back at the CG station the Coast Guard hooked me up with some hot tea and cookies. They also gave me the ill-fitting, fleece onesy to warm me up and replace my soaking wet wetsuit. Katie soon showed up bearing dry clothes and beer and we were on our merry way. Kudos to the Tofino Coast Guard, I really can't say enough good things about those folks, even if they did dress me up like an Oompa-loompa.

And that is the story of how I was almost washed out to sea this weekend.

Some Arts IV: Return of the Son of the Arts

I've been practising my photoshop colouring and I think I don't entirely suck at it.

SNAKES...ON...A...MOTHERFUCKING... PLANE...

the trailer is here:


http://www.tagworld.com/snakesonaplane/

GO NOW!

Musings About Irrelevant Things #3

Is it just me or is the first person they cut to at the Oscars ALWAYS Jack Nicholson?

Just more proof of the awesome power of the Jacks.

Ode to the Internets: 2nd Verse

God, I love the internet:Superman is a DICK, and I couldn't be happier.

Things Primetime TV Has Taught Me: Part 1

Jack is the single most badass name anyone can have. I know it sounds all lame and harkens back to the lameass from the Jack and Jill fairy tale but I am not talking about Old Timey Jack, no no, I am talking about the 21st century Jack. Don't believe me? Here's proof:

Jack Bauer. In the span of 24 hours Jack saved the lives of his wife and daughter (the ultimate alpha male move), killed several assassins, threatened to shove a wet towel down the throat of an investment banker. Took out a sniper/mid season boss with a pistol and three bullets, shot his boss in the thigh with a tranquilizer because he did something Jack didn't like, and generally said more badass things than most people do in a year. Then he went on to be more badass on 3 other occassions and is working on a fifth.
Jack Bristow pretty much does all that before breakfast, he has less moral limitations than Bauer and will pretty much kill/maim/torture/blackmail anyone who tries to harm his daughter. Plus he gets bomus points for doing it and being over fifty. Seriously though, you do not want to fuck with Jack Bristow.

Dr. Jack Sheppard. Though not a secret agent Dr. Jack is a doctor, no, a surgeon which is like a doctor but you get to physically decide people's fates daily (sort of like GOD: the Game). Also he has survived being a)thrown from a plane b) living almost 2 months on a tropical island inhabited by wild boars, polar bears, crazy people with guns, sharks, and a swirly cloud of death smoke. Dr. Sheppard's other badass accomplishments: 1)tried to sew up his own back wound shortly after the plane crash and 2) gave a blood tranfusion from himself to Boone using a sea urchin spine as a makeshift needle all the while performing surgery on the man with limited tools and then attempting to amputate Boone's shattered leg by slamming a cargo container door down on it (this may be the simgle most badass course of action ever taken).

Seeing as how TV never lies the evidence must be conclusive: Jack is the most badass name in the universe. That is not to say that anyone named Jack is a complete badass but rather that by being named Jack you have better odds of becoming a badass.

Give your child a fighting chance and name him Jack. Seriously. Do it.

Digicine X: A Treatment

Next week I get to find out everything that is wrong with the short script first draft that I did for school. It is called "Digicine X" though previously it was referred to as "Post-cyberpunk. bike courier. drug, kung fu story" and before that it had no name and was really just an excuse to do a kung fu film. Anyways the whole point of this post is to let you have a sneak peek. in treatment form. Enjoy:

Nick, a 26 year old unkempt but fit man, sits amid a row of boxes in the main office of a bike courier service. He puts on a bullet proof vest, combat boots, and a helmet bearing the CyclePath Deliveries company logo. While he does this he also explains what his job as a mid-21st century bike courier entails. The last items he straps on are a stun baton and a field emergency med kit.

Eve, a 24 year old stunningly beautiful blonde, lies in Nick’s bed. Nick joins her and produces two pills of Digicine X, a high tech version of Ecstasy. The two take their pills and begin to kiss. A phone rings. It is Nick’s cell phone and his boss is on the other end of the line begging Nick to come in to deliver just one package, “an emergency,” he explains. Nick pulls on his jeans and assures Eve that he will be back before the drug has time to kick in.

When he arrives at the offices of CyclePath Deliveries Nick is given a heavy square box. His boss explains that someone is paying a lot of money to get it where it is supposed to go and that where it is going is to Mr. Wing, the crime baron of Neo Hong Kong. Nick warns his boss that he has just taken Digicine and his boss tells him to use some of the adrenaline in the med kits to kill the nanobots before they take effect. Nick refuses on the grounds that several months’ salary went into purchasing the drugs and to not experience them with Eve would be a crime.

Nick arrives at the offices of Mr. Wing, who is accompanied by several guards and a beautiful blonde with something wrapped in cloth strapped to her back. Nick presents the package to the crime lord who opens it to reveal the head of a young woman, Mr. Wing’s daughter. Simultaneously the Digicine X in Nick’s body begins to affect him and he begins to lose his composure.

Mr. Wing gets very angry at the perceived insult Nick has just given him and orders his men to kill him. Ricky, a 20-something tall, lanky man in a dishevelled suit, leaps across the table at a very distressed Nick and throws a heavy right hook. Nick in his panicked state manages to dodge the punch and produce the stun baton out of its holster. He jabs the tip into Ricky’s stomach and the goon falls to the ground twitching from the shock.

Nick runs for the door, out into the streets of Neo Hong Kong, and eventually finds himself hiding in an underground parking lot. He sits down against a wall around the corner from the entrance and tries to catch his breath. “Are you specifically trying to get us killed?” asks a disembodied voice. Nick looks up to see himself staring back at him. His doppelganger tries to convince Nick to take the adrenaline and get the hell out of here. Nick rubs his eyes in disbelief and the hallucination has disappeared.

Nick hears the sound of the underground parking gate opening and he peers around the corner. Mr. Wing’s blonde in traditional Kung Fu-style clothing is walking down the entranceway. Nick turns away from the edge of the wall to keep from being seen and ends up looking into the eyes of a hallucination of Eve. The fake Eve flirts with Nick begging him to not do away with the drugs and come home and make love to her. Nick is about to give in when Eve is replaced by the Kung Fu Blonde who promptly punches Nick in the face.

The Blonde continues to beat up on Nick until she lands one astoundingly strong punch that throws nick several parking stalls across the lot and into a wall. The Blonde pulls the item wrapped in cloth off of her back and places the tip of it on the ground. She pulls the cord off and the cloth falls to the floor revealing a sword in scabbard. The Blonde begins to charge towards Nick as she slowly draws the sword from its sheath. Eve has reappeared before Nick but he ignores her and stabs the adrenaline needle into his own chest. The effects are instantaneous and Nick springs to his feet, charges the Blonde, slams the half drawn sword back into its scabbard, and delivering a killing blow to the Blonde’s face.
Nick stands silent over the crumples body of his would-be killer for a brief moment and then walks out of the garage. He leaves Neo Hong Kong through its giant archway without further incident.

Ode to the Internets

Sometimes the internets do something that makes me love them so much I cry:

http://qcjeph.livejournal.com/#entry_46960

Production Stills, Outtakes, and Ommissions of 2005 and the first few hours of 2006 Photoblog

I was going through my photography folder and decided that I would post some random photos that, except for the first, have no real relation to each other. So here it is, the not-about-particularly-anything photoblog (with witty commentary):

DISCLAIMER: VFS Film Production Class 107 Documentary Project Group #2 (13th Mission/A Wartime Log) is, honestly, a wonderfully professional and serious group. Any evidence otherwise is bullshit, lies, and likely concocted by the government to discredit us. I swear. For serious.
See, professional. Casey did not actually know what was on the sign which makes the fact that he made that face all the funnier to me. Also, just because he didn't know what was on the sign does not necessarily mean it isn't true. The sign know all!
What is the giant white thing in front of me? A styrofoam bounce board. What are we doing you ask? we are shooting a shot of the little stone man on the cabinet. What for you ask? A documentary about a WWII prisoner of war. Does my shirt have a ninja on it? Yes, for I am 10 Ninjas. What is Steve looking at? It appears to be my nether regions.
We spent the better part of a day shooting pictures of the old man's journal in the basement of our school. I do not believe any of the footage made it into the film but I did photoshop our credits so as to make them look like they were printed onto the cover. We almost used a shot of a letter from the journal (INSIDE JOKE/ Letters from home could be good and they could be bad...many of them were bad /END INSIDE JOKE)
...professional...can you guess what the pictogram says? 10 points if you can.
From an earlier shoot. We were shooting Hans in a bath all hitchcock-like (artistic choice Mr. Cinematography Instructor!) and we needed to get sound without Steve being in the shot. SUCCESS!
A rejected picture from the moustache month photoblog. This is post-midnight, I had finally gotten rid of the rancid thing and was extremely happy about it and also in Hans' room for some reason.
Devin and Jezhel. Devin is looking sceptical about having his picture taken. Steve mistook Jezhel for something she was not (I will not repeat for sake of not wanting a feud between my friends). ALSO, I did not notice until just now that Devin and I were wearing identically coloured shirts.
...I was so mad at the similar shirts (continuity error) that I fought my sister. My bosses at Saffron Productions (the travel show thing) looked on and threatened to fire me if I lost. So I didn't. I won by using a noogie-esque finishing move I like to call "A Move That Is Exactly Like A Noogie But Not."
Travel back in time to Fernie and a picture that didn't make the Fernie photoblog. I like the way the sky looks in this one and I have no witty commentary for it...sooo...BUTTS LOL!!1!!...shut up.
Travel even further back to the days when I lived in New Westminster. This is photographic evidence of the single most epic act of recycling ever, EVER! I took a low angle shot as well, for that mythic look, but it did not capture the full scope of how much crap we crammed into Hans' van. However, before you start thinking that we are awesome recyclers and such remember that this much crap had to acummulate in our house first...we're better now though I swear...
Pete kissing Ghandi, who is wearing a lei. I don't think this one needs witty commentary to be funny.
I like this one because it looks like Pete was playing the guitar so hard that his hand dissappeared. Also because it looks like Lisa and Pete and giving each other intense stares of longing.
New West. Drunken Snowman. He turns away because he is ashamed of his addiction. His outstretched hand says, "don't look at me for I am hideous." He later died of melting.
Matty. A man who truly know the meaning of St. Patrick's Day. That meaning being wearing green and drinking three beers at once. Even though the beers are not Irish. They are however in green bottles so they still count. Speaking of St. Patrick's Day I am throwing a St. Patrick's Day party here. So bring all your friends out to Kits on March 17th (a friday) 2006.

I was also going to post a picture of the high scores I got playing Minesweeper (3 seconds on beginner and 59 seconds on intermediate) whilst working night shift at the hotel in the summer, but it seemed kind of lame and also provided concrete proof of my daily reading of MSN Celebs (I can stop anytime I want...I swear). Thus I didn't post it leaving you the humble reader to have no more pretty pictures to look at.

Stupid Things I Will Be Doing In The Near Future

First there was the formation of Snakes On A Plane, then there was Moustache Month. Continuing in the tradition of these momentous events here are a few stupid things I, along with several others, plan on doing in the new future:

1) Song Day - participants in this day are only allowed to speak in song. I believe this might actually be this coming monday. It probably won't be too much different then me singing "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones all the time.

2) Mohawk Month - at least 3 to 4 of us (VFS kids) are going to shave our heads into mowhawks sometime in the next month. Mayhem shall ensue. I'm going for the Heroine Bob look and pushing for Gamblor to do the horns.

3) Bad Pick-Up Line Night - Hansworth, Steve, and I have decided that going to a random club and trying just about every cheesy and horrible pick-up technique/line is necessary. This will likely involve no real intention to meet girls and a hat from which we will draw bad pick-up lines. I also expect to get slapped at least . If I don't then I am not trying hard enough.

4) The Competition - ever see Seinfeld? Yeah. That competition. I think it starts in a week. I should probably get prepared.

5) Who knows, but it will probably be stupid and involve me being harmed physically in some way.

Happy Picture Lock Day!

My time as editor of A Wartime Log is now over until colour correction. The next two weeks will be a welcome break, hopefully complete with a return of a social life. To commemorate this eventful day here is a picture of what I did not end up becoming (though I kind of wish that I had). I present to you a piece I call BATSHIT CRAZY:

Fashionably Late

Everyone and there dog is drawing Batgirl it seems. It also seems that this young artiste has known about this for some time and even drew a picture once he found out. However, in true Stu Popp tradition, I have waited a few days (completely intentionally) to post the picture. So now here is Batgirl in all her fashionably late glory:

Drawings by everyone and their dog can be found here: http://himynameisjamie.livejournal.com/345568.html

Also: who thinks I should try and update more often as a sketchblog?

Doing It Execution Style

Oh man.

I think that this Penny Arcade is one of the funnier things I have seen in the past month at least. God this makes me want to buy nerf™ products and have nerf™ fights again...

I'm a nerd.