My TED Talk

TED is a series of talks given each year by luminaries of various field of study. From Theoretical Physics to Environmental Science to the Entertainment Industry (one of my personal favourites being J.J. Abrams discussion of the "Mystery Box"). TED is held in California but they have begun a new initiative in which a series of talks will be held in cities across the globe, with talks given by the locals (or anyone with an interest really, it is the internet after all).

My point is this: TED is coming to Vancouver. I live in Vancouver. I want to give a TED talk.

Now, I'm clearly not a luminary in my field. Some days I'm not even particularly sure what my field is and I'm fairly certain that nobody is going to be interested in hearing the director responsible for Sick. and Boomer and the Beav speak about the fine art of filmmaking. However, all that isn't really important because what I am (or at least what I labour under the delusion that I am) is funny and any series of talks needs to open with a bit of comedy. It lightens the mood and relaxes people before they are mind-blasted by the awesome discussions of matters political and scientific. I know for a fact that TED agrees with me, because there is no way zeFranks talk was secretly about the Higgs-Boson and elementary particle physics.

So I want to be that guy. The one who spends 10 minutes talking about something only vaguely related to a real TED talk to warm everyone up. I want to be that guy and I want to be him in Vancouver at TEDxVancouver.

My topic?

Velociraptor Safety Awareness.

I'll see you at TED.

Prepare your mindscapes!

Adventures of a Part-Time Rogue: Rangers and Elves and Dragons oh my

Let's talk class.

In the Pen and Paper world it is common that various character archetypes are distilled down into classes. There do exist classless systems though we won't discuss them here because a) I've played these games maybe once or twice and b) It would distract from talking about todays subject. These classes in Dungeons and Dragons take the form of recognizable fantasy character types: The Fighter, The Wizard, The Rogue, The Barbarian, etc. Like a lot of D&D and other fantasy they also owe a lot to Tolkien's Lord of the Rings series.

And speaking of Tolkien, let's get into my favourite class. The Ranger.


Ranger's are your wandering woodsman type. Usually seen firing a volley of arrows at the enemy before whipping out a double weapon combo on anyone stupid enough to get close. Think Aragorn or Legolas if you need a Tolkien allegory. Robin Hood is another good example. At later levels you get a badass wolf (or animal of your choice) to accompany you and a few spells to help you out along the way.

My first RPG character ever was an Elven Ranger, and to this day Rangers are my go-to class. I've come to favour Humans over Elves but nothing can beat the range-y goodness of taking out enemies from afar and confounding your allies by never getting hurt (It wasn't that my Rangers weren't brave but they knew the tactical advantages of climbing and hiding in trees at the start of a fight before raining arrow-y death upon the enemy).

I eventually perfected the Forest Sniper Ranger build and went on to test my creative boundaries by creating unique and interesting Ranger characters. Particular favourites of mine were the blind, Celtic Ranger who picked his shots by the sound of an enemies footfalls and the street urchin who fought with two knives and the help of his loyal half-wolf, half-dog animal companion.

And while all this experimentation continues, most recently with a half-elf, apple-eating samurai ranger, it all led me to discover (rather late in my D&D career), my second favourite class: The Rogue. More on these sneaky masters of stealing-from-other-party-members in the next Adventures of a Part-Time Rogue.