Of Cripples and Coffee Bets

or Day 13: The Bloggening

The left side of my body has made it almost 24 years without serious injury, though the pinky finger on my left hand might protest having been torn open by a falling basketball net at the tender age of 11. The right side, also known as the side I use most often, has not fared so luckily. Even most of the concussions I have received in my illustrious concussion career have been the result of a high speed impact of the right side of my skull and some ill remembered solid object. For my time-challenged Web 2.0 lifestyle readers here is a handy list of right-side injuries:

1. Effed-Up (that's the technical term) Knee.
2. Concussions 2 through 5 and 7
3. Broken Wrist (Never properly healed on account of a self-diagnoses that it was a sprain that would totally heal in 2 to 6 weeks)
4. Actually Sprained Wrist
and
5. Dislocated Shoulder on account of saving actresses and totally being a hero.

Thanks to number 5 I have been riding the Worker's Compensation Train for the better part of the 4th Quarter of 2008. The time off has allowed me a lot of time. Time is good. Time also tends to lose all meaning when you have no reference point to base it on. That is beside the point, however, and I don't want to spin wildly off the non-existent topic of this post. We'll both figure it out by the end I promise.*

But before you do, SIDE NOTE: Quintin Tarantino has terrible grammar.

Back on topic, I have had a lot of free time that needed to be filled up with stuff. Stuff. Obviously new friends have been a great source of stuff. And having a roommate on sick leave from his job for the entirety did hurt. But onto the Stuff...

I bought half an XBOX, the other half was a lovely Christmas gift, but it isn't important. The why is important and the why is Girls. Girls have played a large part in the Stuff (Caffeine hasn't but we'll get to that in a moment). Let me put this into a Scenario starring the cast of "House":

WILSON: I just think it is a bit creepy to bring a girl back here on the grounds of wanting to watch a movie and then saying, "Oops we don't have a DVD player, we'll have to watch it on my computer... in my room... on my bed..."

HOUSE: (Witty, Snide, Cutting Remark)

Of course, Time had already lost all meaning at this point and so nothing happened. The days past, I forgot to bring my wallet to a lunch, there were Star Wars quotes, and I sacrificed a copy of "Gattaca" (after almost buying a VHS of "The Third Wheel" starring Ben Affleck for 2 dollars) to my ageing VCR. More pressingly, WILSON was planning on bringing CUDDY over to watch a movie. We simply needed a DVD player so I bought an Xbox. Girls.

SIDE NOTE: Wilson and Cuddy never watched that DVD, but House did kick ass at Mass Effect.

Because I Promised

I told you we would get to the coffee issue, and rightly seeing as it is in the title, and here we are. I'm done with coffee. And Caffeine. And any sort of Pop (I know, "but what about your last name Hur Hur Hur." I secretly hate you...). It started as a simple agreement to better ourselves between A friend and I, we'll call him Jordan because, well, that's his name (and the House metaphor kind of fell apart way back when I had Wilson and Cuddy on a date and House trying to help). He would go without Porn and I would go without Coke.

Of course saying "it started out as dot dot dot" generally means it didn't end up that way. One man's agreement is another man's bet.

"What's it for? How do you win? What's the prize"
"Self-Improvement. You don't. Seriously it's not a bet."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"But..."
"I'm in"

And so my No-Coke agreement became a No-Pop bet became a No-Caffeine Competition. With everyone else swearing off porn. Johnny and the German were the first to fall. The rest of us sit uneasily on Day 13. It's almost over (the day not the bet) and I will be able to lay that lucky 14th strike on the board, but my hands still tremble with withdrawal as I do so, but I don't intend to lose. I'm nothing if not competitive and stubborn.

related SIDE-NOTE: I recently learnt that Chocolate contains caffeine... "thanks" Alice...
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*Okay so I was wrong, I still don't know the point of this post and you are probably more confused than I am. But hey, at last it was funny in parts right? right?