Lost. Season 6 Episode 23: The One Where the Dog is Around When I Die

I have returned from the dark heart of the internets. Little know fact: The dark heart of the internets is located in Cleveland, Ohio in the basement of a Starbucks.

"Ha!" you might be saying, "Lazing about on a vacation no doubt!"

You would be wrong. My hiatus has been filled with things such as work, losing my job, getting sick, looking for a job, losing a small patch of hair on the lower back of my head to stress, stressing about this hair loss, being a huge nerd, and generally other disagreeable things. Hardly a vacation at all.

The economic crisis has hit close to home. I am officially a member of the "hundreds laid off" statistic.

"But what does this have to do with your chosen title?" you might counter.

Absolutely nothing. They have nothing in common. I've had a crap two weeks and compensated for by watching TV, most of which was not Lost. So you win this volley, except for the fact that you are a voice in my head and I'm not really listening to what you have to say.

That said...

Have you ever notice that whenever someone dies on Lost the dog is around? Did I just blow your mind? Don't lie, I'll know if you do.

"My mind is at least 53% blown," you would likely admit.

Of course it is.

"But what about the first bit?" you would press on, "The bad stuff?"

I compensate with humour.

Humour and having fake conversations with the voices in my head via the Internet.

"You know they say the first sign of madness is-" you would start to say and then I would interrupt you (because I am prone to rudeness from time to time).

Madness comes with having been to the Dark Heart of the Internets.

Cleveland, Ohio is no place for the sane.