Jack Bauer. In the span of 24 hours Jack saved the lives of his wife and daughter (the ultimate alpha male move), killed several assassins, threatened to shove a wet towel down the throat of an investment banker. Took out a sniper/mid season boss with a pistol and three bullets, shot his boss in the thigh with a tranquilizer because he did something Jack didn't like, and generally said more badass things than most people do in a year. Then he went on to be more badass on 3 other occassions and is working on a fifth.
Jack Bristow pretty much does all that before breakfast, he has less moral limitations than Bauer and will pretty much kill/maim/torture/blackmail anyone who tries to harm his daughter. Plus he gets bomus points for doing it and being over fifty. Seriously though, you do not want to fuck with Jack Bristow.
Dr. Jack Sheppard. Though not a secret agent Dr. Jack is a doctor, no, a surgeon which is like a doctor but you get to physically decide people's fates daily (sort of like GOD: the Game). Also he has survived being a)thrown from a plane b) living almost 2 months on a tropical island inhabited by wild boars, polar bears, crazy people with guns, sharks, and a swirly cloud of death smoke. Dr. Sheppard's other badass accomplishments: 1)tried to sew up his own back wound shortly after the plane crash and 2) gave a blood tranfusion from himself to Boone using a sea urchin spine as a makeshift needle all the while performing surgery on the man with limited tools and then attempting to amputate Boone's shattered leg by slamming a cargo container door down on it (this may be the simgle most badass course of action ever taken).
Seeing as how TV never lies the evidence must be conclusive: Jack is the most badass name in the universe. That is not to say that anyone named Jack is a complete badass but rather that by being named Jack you have better odds of becoming a badass.
Give your child a fighting chance and name him Jack. Seriously. Do it.
4 comments:
Technically, Jack didn't try to sew up his own back wound. I've recently started watchnig this show from the beginning again as I'm getting my boyfriend hooked on it (I'm like a drug dealer except my drug is TV not crack). He takes off his shirt and sees that it is beyond his reach so he asks Kate for help before he even attempts. but he does get the sewing kit before he gets help so he had the INTENTION of sewing up his own back wound
oh close enough
I think what it is for these Jack's is that they go through their childhood and adolescents with the name "Jack" - so basic and ordinary, possibly the most ordinary male name in the english language (save John - which is the same as Jack in experience, a friend in high school had the birth name Johnathan and he went by Jack)
So they have this ordinary name and they know it. They have they have to become kickassingly awesome to make up for it.
I would also like to add Old Jack the poker playing dog from 8 Below and the most badass Jack of them all: Mr. Jack Nicholson
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